Lola drove straight through the heart of night, her only company the stars and the Lotus Evora’s hum, which she preferred to the radio. Not even the moon showed its scarred face. She straddled her past and her future, unstuck but not quite free. She refused to think too hard of him until she was far enough away that she couldn’t turn back.
Her plan had played out even better than she’d thought, except that she’d expected to feel more vindicated by now. It was still early, though. Not even the sun had risen since she’d left Beau at Cat Shoppe, pacing out front, waiting for her to emerge. How long had it taken him to realize she never would?
When her fuel tank neared empty, she finally loosened her grip on the steering wheel and pulled off the freeway. She found a gas station and, once inside, did a quick scan of the building—a side effect from the time she’d walked in on Beau with a gun to his head.
The clerk stared openly at her chest. “Nice car.”
Lola closed the top button of her coat. She slapped cash on the counter, making him jump. “Pump five, a pack of Marlboros, a lighter and coffee.”
“Sure thing, babe.” He took the money.
Night fringed and frayed into dawn. She set the tank to fill and leaned against a wall to smoke. Her shiny, spotless new Lotus held two duffel bags—one had her personal things, and the other, stashed in the trunk, held what was left of her million dollars. All that money, right there, made her head swim. She tapped ash from her cigarette and glanced over her shoulder. The clerk was watching her through the window.
She was on her own now. With Johnny and Beau, she’d always had someone behind her. Tonight, her back was up against the wall, and everything she owned in the world was right in front of her. One twist of fate, one slip up, and she could lose it all. An accident. A thief.
Beau Olivier.
He would come after her, at least at first. She had to watch her every move—not even a footprint in the sand he could track. Because if he caught her, there was no telling what he’d do to her for this. For tricking him into loving her and making him a fool ten times greater than she had the first time.
Lola didn’t want to think about that. It was a happy night. She stubbed out her cigarette and got back in the car. She’d already scarfed her beef Pad Thai and steamed vegetables somewhere around Bakersfield. Gas and coffee would buy her a few more hours until she needed to crash. She debated going back in for a candy bar, but she wasn’t as far as she wanted to be yet, so she started the car instead.
She drove straight to the next biggest city. Night and day wrestled as the sun woke up over California. Lola put on her oversized, designer sunglasses, one of the few things left from her life with Beau, and relaxed back into her seat. As San Francisco’s skyline came into view, she thought--so this is it. This is my freedom, my revenge.
She watched out the windshield as she passed the St. Regis hotel, glimpsing its swank interior through tall windows. Lola was flush now, but she was heading into an uncertain future. She had to be careful with what she had, and she’d already spent a good chunk on the Lotus, a gift to herself.
Motel 6 was more her speed anyway, and she’d already made a reservation. She’d be comfortable there. She paid for the room in cash and drove around back. After shutting off the car, she sat a minute, checking the parking lot and then all her mirrors.
Far as she could tell, no one was around. She got her things, popped the trunk for the bag of money and carried everything to the room. Inside, she went directly to the closet. Every Motel 6 was supposed to have a safe—but she slid open the door and found nothing.
The cash weighed heavily on her shoulder. Lola dropped it on the bed, picked up the phone and hit a button.
“Front desk,” a man answered.
“I need a new room. I’m in 103.”
“Is there an issue?”
“This one faces the parking lot.” Lola sniffed. She wasn’t about to advertise how badly she needed a safe. “I want to be near the pool.”
“Hang on.” The line went quiet a moment, and then he said, “Nothing open by the pool.”
“Maybe I should go somewhere else then.”
“Um…” His voice trailed off jaggedly, a froggy sound. “Want me to suggest another hotel in the area?”
Lola sighed. Threatening to take her business elsewhere didn’t quite have the same effect as when Beau did it. “No. Is there anything else available?”
“Yes, ma’am. Just not by the pool.”
“Whatever. Any other room is fine.”
Lola picked up the duffel again, put it back in her trunk and drove around to the front desk. She locked the car, exchanged the key and parked where she’d be able to see the Lotus from her window. This room had a safe, but it wasn’t big enough for her bag. She took out stacks of cash, fitting as much in as she possibly could and put the rest under the mattress. She’d also stuffed a small amount into the spare tire compartment of the car. Diversifying your wealth was important. Or so she’d heard.
When she’d gotten the rest of her things, she closed the blinds, bolted the door and crawled under the covers. Thanks to Beau, she’d developed quite the habit of going to bed after the sun came up.
Lola closed her eyes, exhausted from the last twenty-four hours. So much had gone down, but she didn’t want to think about any of it. She just wanted to sleep. Her immediate plan had been to get as far as she could in a small amount of time. Now, the whole country was open to her. She had no obligations—no other reservations or arrangements. She’d worry about that when she woke up, though.
Lola turned onto her side and pulled a pillow between her arms. Sleeping next to Beau had never been hard. He usually was out a few seconds after he closed his eyes, and then she could relax in his presence and enjoy the way he held her—protectively, like someone might try to take her in the middle of the night.
His waking moments, though—they’d given her some trouble. The past three weeks, Lola had tried not to think too hard about abandoning her plan and staying with Beau. The temptation had been too dangerous then. But what was the harm in it now?
Things had been far from perfect between them. Beau’d claimed to know her inside out, but he hadn’t even realized how empty her days had been. He’d bungled little things, like buying her a peach dress for the ballet when it was the last color she would’ve picked for herself. He’d fucked up the big things too, though, like thinking she could be content just to be by his side—no job, no life of her own. Just her, at his beck and call.
Lola sighed, hugging the pillow more tightly. The night they’d discussed her getting a job was one she remembered well. It’d almost been a turning point for them. If Beau had done and said all the right things, would she still be here now, sleeping without him?
Alone, in the darkened room, without a steel cage around her heart for the first time in weeks, she let herself go there...
Her plan had played out even better than she’d thought, except that she’d expected to feel more vindicated by now. It was still early, though. Not even the sun had risen since she’d left Beau at Cat Shoppe, pacing out front, waiting for her to emerge. How long had it taken him to realize she never would?
When her fuel tank neared empty, she finally loosened her grip on the steering wheel and pulled off the freeway. She found a gas station and, once inside, did a quick scan of the building—a side effect from the time she’d walked in on Beau with a gun to his head.
The clerk stared openly at her chest. “Nice car.”
Lola closed the top button of her coat. She slapped cash on the counter, making him jump. “Pump five, a pack of Marlboros, a lighter and coffee.”
“Sure thing, babe.” He took the money.
Night fringed and frayed into dawn. She set the tank to fill and leaned against a wall to smoke. Her shiny, spotless new Lotus held two duffel bags—one had her personal things, and the other, stashed in the trunk, held what was left of her million dollars. All that money, right there, made her head swim. She tapped ash from her cigarette and glanced over her shoulder. The clerk was watching her through the window.
She was on her own now. With Johnny and Beau, she’d always had someone behind her. Tonight, her back was up against the wall, and everything she owned in the world was right in front of her. One twist of fate, one slip up, and she could lose it all. An accident. A thief.
Beau Olivier.
He would come after her, at least at first. She had to watch her every move—not even a footprint in the sand he could track. Because if he caught her, there was no telling what he’d do to her for this. For tricking him into loving her and making him a fool ten times greater than she had the first time.
Lola didn’t want to think about that. It was a happy night. She stubbed out her cigarette and got back in the car. She’d already scarfed her beef Pad Thai and steamed vegetables somewhere around Bakersfield. Gas and coffee would buy her a few more hours until she needed to crash. She debated going back in for a candy bar, but she wasn’t as far as she wanted to be yet, so she started the car instead.
She drove straight to the next biggest city. Night and day wrestled as the sun woke up over California. Lola put on her oversized, designer sunglasses, one of the few things left from her life with Beau, and relaxed back into her seat. As San Francisco’s skyline came into view, she thought--so this is it. This is my freedom, my revenge.
She watched out the windshield as she passed the St. Regis hotel, glimpsing its swank interior through tall windows. Lola was flush now, but she was heading into an uncertain future. She had to be careful with what she had, and she’d already spent a good chunk on the Lotus, a gift to herself.
Motel 6 was more her speed anyway, and she’d already made a reservation. She’d be comfortable there. She paid for the room in cash and drove around back. After shutting off the car, she sat a minute, checking the parking lot and then all her mirrors.
Far as she could tell, no one was around. She got her things, popped the trunk for the bag of money and carried everything to the room. Inside, she went directly to the closet. Every Motel 6 was supposed to have a safe—but she slid open the door and found nothing.
The cash weighed heavily on her shoulder. Lola dropped it on the bed, picked up the phone and hit a button.
“Front desk,” a man answered.
“I need a new room. I’m in 103.”
“Is there an issue?”
“This one faces the parking lot.” Lola sniffed. She wasn’t about to advertise how badly she needed a safe. “I want to be near the pool.”
“Hang on.” The line went quiet a moment, and then he said, “Nothing open by the pool.”
“Maybe I should go somewhere else then.”
“Um…” His voice trailed off jaggedly, a froggy sound. “Want me to suggest another hotel in the area?”
Lola sighed. Threatening to take her business elsewhere didn’t quite have the same effect as when Beau did it. “No. Is there anything else available?”
“Yes, ma’am. Just not by the pool.”
“Whatever. Any other room is fine.”
Lola picked up the duffel again, put it back in her trunk and drove around to the front desk. She locked the car, exchanged the key and parked where she’d be able to see the Lotus from her window. This room had a safe, but it wasn’t big enough for her bag. She took out stacks of cash, fitting as much in as she possibly could and put the rest under the mattress. She’d also stuffed a small amount into the spare tire compartment of the car. Diversifying your wealth was important. Or so she’d heard.
When she’d gotten the rest of her things, she closed the blinds, bolted the door and crawled under the covers. Thanks to Beau, she’d developed quite the habit of going to bed after the sun came up.
Lola closed her eyes, exhausted from the last twenty-four hours. So much had gone down, but she didn’t want to think about any of it. She just wanted to sleep. Her immediate plan had been to get as far as she could in a small amount of time. Now, the whole country was open to her. She had no obligations—no other reservations or arrangements. She’d worry about that when she woke up, though.
Lola turned onto her side and pulled a pillow between her arms. Sleeping next to Beau had never been hard. He usually was out a few seconds after he closed his eyes, and then she could relax in his presence and enjoy the way he held her—protectively, like someone might try to take her in the middle of the night.
His waking moments, though—they’d given her some trouble. The past three weeks, Lola had tried not to think too hard about abandoning her plan and staying with Beau. The temptation had been too dangerous then. But what was the harm in it now?
Things had been far from perfect between them. Beau’d claimed to know her inside out, but he hadn’t even realized how empty her days had been. He’d bungled little things, like buying her a peach dress for the ballet when it was the last color she would’ve picked for herself. He’d fucked up the big things too, though, like thinking she could be content just to be by his side—no job, no life of her own. Just her, at his beck and call.
Lola sighed, hugging the pillow more tightly. The night they’d discussed her getting a job was one she remembered well. It’d almost been a turning point for them. If Beau had done and said all the right things, would she still be here now, sleeping without him?
Alone, in the darkened room, without a steel cage around her heart for the first time in weeks, she let herself go there...
One week earlier
Lola didn’t look up from her plate when Beau entered the kitchen. He was late. She didn’t actually care—presuming he might miss dinner again, she’d eaten without him—but that wasn’t how a woman in love acted. So she’d made herself a new plate of food and read a magazine until the garage door rumbled open.
“I left work as soon as I could.” Beau loosened his tie and opened the refrigerator to grab a beer. In Beau’s world, that was as close to an apology as she was going to get.
“You said you’d be home three hours ago.” Lola stood, picked up his plate and walked over to him. She shoved it between them, steamed carrots rolling off onto the floor. “Is this how it’s going to be? After everything we went through, work’s always going to come before me?”
“No.” He took the plate from her and set it on the counter. “Of course not.”
“This isn’t what I signed up for.”
“And it’s not what you’re getting. You have no idea the day I’ve had. I’m not even hungry. All day, I just wanted to come home and,” he put his knuckle under her jaw, “and…kiss you.”
Lola parted her lips but turned her head away when he leaned in. The argument wasn’t over. Night after night, she sat by herself, waiting for him to come home. She hadn’t given up her comfortable life to live unhappily in second place. “You’re supposed to be making some changes.”
He guided her face back to his. “I know what I said, and I’m trying. There’s going to be an adjustment period, Lola. I can’t suddenly start leaving the office at five when I normally work twelve-hour days.” He touched his thumb to the corner of her mouth. “As much as I want to get home to you, I have to ease into this.”
“I know,” she said. He looked like he was going to kiss her. She salivated. Not every part of her could be schooled. “I just thought we’d get more time with each other. I’m used to having someone around. Johnny and I were together morning, noon and—”
“Don’t.” Beau pinned her with a look and dropped his hand. He inhaled through his nose. “Get mad at me if you want, but don’t bring him up. That’s the last fucking thing I want to hear after a long day.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Johnny was a weapon that never lost its potency. It had as much effect on Beau now as it had their first night together when he’d lost his cool and fucked her up against the hotel window. Lola shivered at the memory and slid her arms up around his neck. “Ready for that kiss?”
He hummed a noise of approval. She rose onto the balls of her feet, threading her fingers in his hair, bringing his lips down to hers.
“This right here,” he said, “may be the greatest threat to my work. How am I supposed to focus knowing you’re here waiting for me each night?”
“That’s all I want,” she whispered. She rested her forehead against his and opened a vein. It was necessary, sometimes, to tell the truth in order to draw him in. To feel the things she tried not to. “To be enough for you to leave work early.”
“You are. I’m not the kind of man who leaves work early, though, and you knew that. I love what I do, even more so now, because it enables me to give you what you want.”
“But…you’re what I want. Not clothing or parties or cars. I want time, and I want it with you.”
He pulled her closer by the small of her back so they were flush against each other. “You make an excellent case,” he whispered in her ear, as if someone might hear. “Let me make it up to you.”
She shook her head. “Not yet.”
“That’s not what I’m getting at. Tonight, I’m all yours. I’ll shut off my phone, and we can talk and catch up. All night long, if that’s what it takes.”
Lola pulled back a little. “But you have to work in the morning.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ve done it before, if you recall.”
Lola narrowed her eyes. The corner of her lip twitched. “Aren’t you getting a little old to pull so many all-nighters?”
He laughed, slapping her rear end lightly. “Sounds like you don’t think I can do it. Is that a challenge, Miss Winters?” He released her and walked away, disappearing into the pantry.
She gave in to her smile. “Does that always work on you?”
“What?” he called.
“Well, for example—if I were to tell you I don’t believe you can do laundry, would you do it just to prove me wrong?”
“I do laundry just fine.” Beau came out with a bag of ground beans. “I’m going to put a pot on. Let’s move this to the couch.”
Lola took the coffee from him. “I’ll make this. I’m sure you’re dying to get out of your suit.”
He kissed her quickly on the lips and brushed a lock of her hair from her forehead. “Have I said how much I love having you around to take care of me?”
Lola caught herself grinning after he’d left the kitchen and quickly wiped the smile from her face. She had an entire, uninterrupted night to worm her way into his heart. And he wasn’t going to lay a hand on her. For as obstinate as he could be, Beau wasn’t as difficult to move around the playing board as she would’ve thought.
Once the coffee was ready, she poured two mugs and met Beau in his den. It was the only room besides his that was remotely comfortable, and while he rarely spent any time in there, she frequently did.
Lola sat beside him on the couch and handed him his drink. He clinked his mug with hers. “To keeping my dick in my pants another night—Lord knows it isn’t easy.”
She laughed and pushed his shoulder. “I’m not drinking to that.”
“All right.” He winked. “To quality time.”
They both took a sip, and she set her cup on the coffee table. She scooted closer to him and ran her fingers over his hairline, just above his ear. “So, why was it such a long day?”
“I don’t want to talk about work.” He readjusted to face her better. “What’d you do today?”
“Slept in.”
He raised his eyebrows at her. “You don’t say. Then what?”
“I read the newspaper. Looked up some stuff online. Before I knew it, it was almost time to start dinner, so I went grocery shopping.”
“Sounds nice.” He cleared his throat and rubbed her knee. “It makes me happy that you don’t have to work. But have you thought about doing something more…um—doing something else with your free time?”
Lola rolled her lips together. Of course she’d thought about it. She was bored all the fucking time wandering around this shell he called a home or going shopping for things she knew she’d have to leave behind. She wanted a job, and not just because she knew a million dollars wouldn’t last forever. But there was no point in getting one when she was leaving soon.
“I’ve thought about it a little,” Lola said. “It’s just so nice not to have to bust my ass cleaning up after drunk idiots anymore.”
“You were wasting your potential at Hey Joe. I knew it the minute I walked into that dump.”
She cocked her head. “But I have no other skills.”
“Go back to school.” His eyes lit up, and he shifted his body even more toward her. “I have connections at UCLA and USC. It wouldn’t be a problem to set you up there.”
Lola felt a little like moving away from him, but she stayed where she was. It was Beau’s kneejerk response to any problem—how could his money and status solve it so he didn’t have to?
“I suppose you’d also be willing to pay my way,” she said.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He shrugged. “Look, I’d have absolutely no problem with you staying home every day and doing nothing if I thought it’d make you happy. Plenty of guys I know have wives who do that and go to expensive luncheons every month so they can call themselves philanthropists.” He sipped his coffee. “That’s not you, though. You can do whatever you want now. You never let yourself have dreams and aspirations before, but there’s nothing holding you back anymore.”
Lola also picked up her mug and took a drink, hiding her face for a moment. If he kept pushing her, everything she’d been thinking lately might come pouring out. There were lots of things she wanted to do, and going back to school was one of them. She’d been debating between majoring in graphic design or business. Maybe both. She wasn’t limited—she could be a goddamn mechanic if she wanted. But she wasn’t focusing on herself yet. It was Beau’s time in the spotlight.
She changed the subject. “What if there’re other things I want to do first?”
Beau settled back, crossing his arms. “Such as?”
“I want to travel. I’ve never been past Vegas.”
Beau nodded approvingly. “Where should we go? Paris? Bali? New York City?”
She hadn’t lied earlier—she really had spent a good portion of her day kicking back, researching things to do around the country. “That’s a little ambitious. Did you know the world’s largest ball of twine is right here in the United States?”
“It’s nothing to write home about.”
She smirked. “You haven’t seen it.”
“You’re right, I haven’t. Big balls don’t do anything for me. But if they impress you, I can show you a couple—”
“Don’t even.” Lola rolled her eyes, grinning.
“You have the whole world to choose from, and you pick—where’d you say this ball was?”
“Kansas. Where would you go if you were me?”
“I’ve been a lot of places. For me, it’s less about what I’m seeing than how it makes me feel.”
“So what’s made you feel?”
“Hard to say. There’s so much to choose from.” Beau blinked away, drank a little coffee. He looked into his mug.
Lola studied him. He seemed to forget she was there for a moment. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.
He glanced up. “The last trip we took as a family before my dad died was the Grand Canyon. Standing there, the world seemed so big. So many possibilities. It was the first time I started to think I could do something with my life. If there were things out there like the Grand Canyon I still didn’t know existed, then there must be a way for me to find them.”
“Always so serious,” Lola murmured. She laced her fingers with his. If she ever came across a little boy like the one Beau had been, she vowed to buy him an ice cream or tell him a dirty joke. There were consequences to taking oneself so seriously. “Have you been back?”
“Yes.” He glanced down at their hands. “After I sold my first company, the same night I met you, I doubted myself. I wasn’t sure which way to turn. I drove to Arizona and looked out at the Grand Canyon, waiting for answers. A place like that really makes you realize how little control you have. But it also puts things in perspective.”
“I get the feeling keeping perspective hasn’t really been an issue for you.”
“Not usually. It helps to separate emotion from most things.” Beau took Lola’s mug from her, set their drinks on the coffee table and looked at her. “Don’t think I don’t realize how lucky I am. I almost lost you because of pride, but you gave me a second chance and saved me from a lifetime of regret.”
Lola let herself get lost in the comforting green of his eyes. Tonight, she was one half of a normal couple. How could Beau not see right through her? Hear the undercurrent of her distrust in everything she said? She was the one left with regret—regret that he’d made her do this. And that she’d never get to witness his suffering.
He leaned in to touch his lips to the bow of hers and made his way around her mouth with light, gentle kisses. She could’ve told him right then that she loved him, and it wouldn’t be a lie. But the closer they got to the end, and to each other, the more afraid she became that saying it aloud would feel too good.
His hands were on her cheeks now. His patience unnerved her. “I’m hungry, Lola,” he said so softly, she almost missed it.
“I’ll heat up your dinner.” She went to pull away, but he kept her there.
“Not for food.” He ran the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip. “I want to know you inside out. And for you to want the same from me.”
“I do.”
“Do you?”
“It’s not a race, Beau. Be patient.”
“I am. We have all night.”
That was almost true. Lola wasn’t sure who fell asleep first, just that it happened sometime before the sun came up, after they’d talked and talked about everything and nothing in particular.
Around dawn, Beau stirred. Lola squeezed him closer with her arm, not ready to lose his warmth. “Stay,” she murmured.
“It’s almost six.”
“Take the day off.”
He kissed the top of her head and raked his fingers through her hair. “I can’t. Not right now.”
Lola sighed deeply. She was already drifting back to sleep when he moved her arms and shifted her aside so he could stand.
“Want me to take you upstairs?” he asked.
“I’m fine here.” Her eyes were still closed. She felt around for a pillow to take Beau’s place, yawned and burrowed into it. “Have a good day, honey.”
The room was quiet a moment, and she assumed he’d left. Then he said, “You’ve never called me by anything other than my name.”
It took her a moment to realize she wasn’t dreaming. Lola blinked her eyes open. She got up on an elbow and squinted at him. “What? What’d I call you?”
“Honey.”
Beau’s hair stuck up on one side from sleeping against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids were heavy. Light was just beginning to filter through the blinds. Lola couldn’t remember how she’d gotten there and what she was supposed to be doing.
Beau came back to the couch and squatted to kiss her on the forehead. “It’s nice waking up with you. My day can only go downhill from here.”
He stood, but Lola grabbed his arm. “Then stay with me.”
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Call me when you get up. We can get lunch.”
He let go and left the den. Lola rubbed her eyes and watched through the door as he climbed the stairs toward his bedroom. It’d been a nice moment, but it was cut short by Beau’s devotion to the only thing that had his loyalty—his work. Business. The empire he looked down upon from his office in the sky.
And then Lola remembered where she was and how she’d gotten there.
Lola didn’t look up from her plate when Beau entered the kitchen. He was late. She didn’t actually care—presuming he might miss dinner again, she’d eaten without him—but that wasn’t how a woman in love acted. So she’d made herself a new plate of food and read a magazine until the garage door rumbled open.
“I left work as soon as I could.” Beau loosened his tie and opened the refrigerator to grab a beer. In Beau’s world, that was as close to an apology as she was going to get.
“You said you’d be home three hours ago.” Lola stood, picked up his plate and walked over to him. She shoved it between them, steamed carrots rolling off onto the floor. “Is this how it’s going to be? After everything we went through, work’s always going to come before me?”
“No.” He took the plate from her and set it on the counter. “Of course not.”
“This isn’t what I signed up for.”
“And it’s not what you’re getting. You have no idea the day I’ve had. I’m not even hungry. All day, I just wanted to come home and,” he put his knuckle under her jaw, “and…kiss you.”
Lola parted her lips but turned her head away when he leaned in. The argument wasn’t over. Night after night, she sat by herself, waiting for him to come home. She hadn’t given up her comfortable life to live unhappily in second place. “You’re supposed to be making some changes.”
He guided her face back to his. “I know what I said, and I’m trying. There’s going to be an adjustment period, Lola. I can’t suddenly start leaving the office at five when I normally work twelve-hour days.” He touched his thumb to the corner of her mouth. “As much as I want to get home to you, I have to ease into this.”
“I know,” she said. He looked like he was going to kiss her. She salivated. Not every part of her could be schooled. “I just thought we’d get more time with each other. I’m used to having someone around. Johnny and I were together morning, noon and—”
“Don’t.” Beau pinned her with a look and dropped his hand. He inhaled through his nose. “Get mad at me if you want, but don’t bring him up. That’s the last fucking thing I want to hear after a long day.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Johnny was a weapon that never lost its potency. It had as much effect on Beau now as it had their first night together when he’d lost his cool and fucked her up against the hotel window. Lola shivered at the memory and slid her arms up around his neck. “Ready for that kiss?”
He hummed a noise of approval. She rose onto the balls of her feet, threading her fingers in his hair, bringing his lips down to hers.
“This right here,” he said, “may be the greatest threat to my work. How am I supposed to focus knowing you’re here waiting for me each night?”
“That’s all I want,” she whispered. She rested her forehead against his and opened a vein. It was necessary, sometimes, to tell the truth in order to draw him in. To feel the things she tried not to. “To be enough for you to leave work early.”
“You are. I’m not the kind of man who leaves work early, though, and you knew that. I love what I do, even more so now, because it enables me to give you what you want.”
“But…you’re what I want. Not clothing or parties or cars. I want time, and I want it with you.”
He pulled her closer by the small of her back so they were flush against each other. “You make an excellent case,” he whispered in her ear, as if someone might hear. “Let me make it up to you.”
She shook her head. “Not yet.”
“That’s not what I’m getting at. Tonight, I’m all yours. I’ll shut off my phone, and we can talk and catch up. All night long, if that’s what it takes.”
Lola pulled back a little. “But you have to work in the morning.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ve done it before, if you recall.”
Lola narrowed her eyes. The corner of her lip twitched. “Aren’t you getting a little old to pull so many all-nighters?”
He laughed, slapping her rear end lightly. “Sounds like you don’t think I can do it. Is that a challenge, Miss Winters?” He released her and walked away, disappearing into the pantry.
She gave in to her smile. “Does that always work on you?”
“What?” he called.
“Well, for example—if I were to tell you I don’t believe you can do laundry, would you do it just to prove me wrong?”
“I do laundry just fine.” Beau came out with a bag of ground beans. “I’m going to put a pot on. Let’s move this to the couch.”
Lola took the coffee from him. “I’ll make this. I’m sure you’re dying to get out of your suit.”
He kissed her quickly on the lips and brushed a lock of her hair from her forehead. “Have I said how much I love having you around to take care of me?”
Lola caught herself grinning after he’d left the kitchen and quickly wiped the smile from her face. She had an entire, uninterrupted night to worm her way into his heart. And he wasn’t going to lay a hand on her. For as obstinate as he could be, Beau wasn’t as difficult to move around the playing board as she would’ve thought.
Once the coffee was ready, she poured two mugs and met Beau in his den. It was the only room besides his that was remotely comfortable, and while he rarely spent any time in there, she frequently did.
Lola sat beside him on the couch and handed him his drink. He clinked his mug with hers. “To keeping my dick in my pants another night—Lord knows it isn’t easy.”
She laughed and pushed his shoulder. “I’m not drinking to that.”
“All right.” He winked. “To quality time.”
They both took a sip, and she set her cup on the coffee table. She scooted closer to him and ran her fingers over his hairline, just above his ear. “So, why was it such a long day?”
“I don’t want to talk about work.” He readjusted to face her better. “What’d you do today?”
“Slept in.”
He raised his eyebrows at her. “You don’t say. Then what?”
“I read the newspaper. Looked up some stuff online. Before I knew it, it was almost time to start dinner, so I went grocery shopping.”
“Sounds nice.” He cleared his throat and rubbed her knee. “It makes me happy that you don’t have to work. But have you thought about doing something more…um—doing something else with your free time?”
Lola rolled her lips together. Of course she’d thought about it. She was bored all the fucking time wandering around this shell he called a home or going shopping for things she knew she’d have to leave behind. She wanted a job, and not just because she knew a million dollars wouldn’t last forever. But there was no point in getting one when she was leaving soon.
“I’ve thought about it a little,” Lola said. “It’s just so nice not to have to bust my ass cleaning up after drunk idiots anymore.”
“You were wasting your potential at Hey Joe. I knew it the minute I walked into that dump.”
She cocked her head. “But I have no other skills.”
“Go back to school.” His eyes lit up, and he shifted his body even more toward her. “I have connections at UCLA and USC. It wouldn’t be a problem to set you up there.”
Lola felt a little like moving away from him, but she stayed where she was. It was Beau’s kneejerk response to any problem—how could his money and status solve it so he didn’t have to?
“I suppose you’d also be willing to pay my way,” she said.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He shrugged. “Look, I’d have absolutely no problem with you staying home every day and doing nothing if I thought it’d make you happy. Plenty of guys I know have wives who do that and go to expensive luncheons every month so they can call themselves philanthropists.” He sipped his coffee. “That’s not you, though. You can do whatever you want now. You never let yourself have dreams and aspirations before, but there’s nothing holding you back anymore.”
Lola also picked up her mug and took a drink, hiding her face for a moment. If he kept pushing her, everything she’d been thinking lately might come pouring out. There were lots of things she wanted to do, and going back to school was one of them. She’d been debating between majoring in graphic design or business. Maybe both. She wasn’t limited—she could be a goddamn mechanic if she wanted. But she wasn’t focusing on herself yet. It was Beau’s time in the spotlight.
She changed the subject. “What if there’re other things I want to do first?”
Beau settled back, crossing his arms. “Such as?”
“I want to travel. I’ve never been past Vegas.”
Beau nodded approvingly. “Where should we go? Paris? Bali? New York City?”
She hadn’t lied earlier—she really had spent a good portion of her day kicking back, researching things to do around the country. “That’s a little ambitious. Did you know the world’s largest ball of twine is right here in the United States?”
“It’s nothing to write home about.”
She smirked. “You haven’t seen it.”
“You’re right, I haven’t. Big balls don’t do anything for me. But if they impress you, I can show you a couple—”
“Don’t even.” Lola rolled her eyes, grinning.
“You have the whole world to choose from, and you pick—where’d you say this ball was?”
“Kansas. Where would you go if you were me?”
“I’ve been a lot of places. For me, it’s less about what I’m seeing than how it makes me feel.”
“So what’s made you feel?”
“Hard to say. There’s so much to choose from.” Beau blinked away, drank a little coffee. He looked into his mug.
Lola studied him. He seemed to forget she was there for a moment. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.
He glanced up. “The last trip we took as a family before my dad died was the Grand Canyon. Standing there, the world seemed so big. So many possibilities. It was the first time I started to think I could do something with my life. If there were things out there like the Grand Canyon I still didn’t know existed, then there must be a way for me to find them.”
“Always so serious,” Lola murmured. She laced her fingers with his. If she ever came across a little boy like the one Beau had been, she vowed to buy him an ice cream or tell him a dirty joke. There were consequences to taking oneself so seriously. “Have you been back?”
“Yes.” He glanced down at their hands. “After I sold my first company, the same night I met you, I doubted myself. I wasn’t sure which way to turn. I drove to Arizona and looked out at the Grand Canyon, waiting for answers. A place like that really makes you realize how little control you have. But it also puts things in perspective.”
“I get the feeling keeping perspective hasn’t really been an issue for you.”
“Not usually. It helps to separate emotion from most things.” Beau took Lola’s mug from her, set their drinks on the coffee table and looked at her. “Don’t think I don’t realize how lucky I am. I almost lost you because of pride, but you gave me a second chance and saved me from a lifetime of regret.”
Lola let herself get lost in the comforting green of his eyes. Tonight, she was one half of a normal couple. How could Beau not see right through her? Hear the undercurrent of her distrust in everything she said? She was the one left with regret—regret that he’d made her do this. And that she’d never get to witness his suffering.
He leaned in to touch his lips to the bow of hers and made his way around her mouth with light, gentle kisses. She could’ve told him right then that she loved him, and it wouldn’t be a lie. But the closer they got to the end, and to each other, the more afraid she became that saying it aloud would feel too good.
His hands were on her cheeks now. His patience unnerved her. “I’m hungry, Lola,” he said so softly, she almost missed it.
“I’ll heat up your dinner.” She went to pull away, but he kept her there.
“Not for food.” He ran the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip. “I want to know you inside out. And for you to want the same from me.”
“I do.”
“Do you?”
“It’s not a race, Beau. Be patient.”
“I am. We have all night.”
That was almost true. Lola wasn’t sure who fell asleep first, just that it happened sometime before the sun came up, after they’d talked and talked about everything and nothing in particular.
Around dawn, Beau stirred. Lola squeezed him closer with her arm, not ready to lose his warmth. “Stay,” she murmured.
“It’s almost six.”
“Take the day off.”
He kissed the top of her head and raked his fingers through her hair. “I can’t. Not right now.”
Lola sighed deeply. She was already drifting back to sleep when he moved her arms and shifted her aside so he could stand.
“Want me to take you upstairs?” he asked.
“I’m fine here.” Her eyes were still closed. She felt around for a pillow to take Beau’s place, yawned and burrowed into it. “Have a good day, honey.”
The room was quiet a moment, and she assumed he’d left. Then he said, “You’ve never called me by anything other than my name.”
It took her a moment to realize she wasn’t dreaming. Lola blinked her eyes open. She got up on an elbow and squinted at him. “What? What’d I call you?”
“Honey.”
Beau’s hair stuck up on one side from sleeping against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids were heavy. Light was just beginning to filter through the blinds. Lola couldn’t remember how she’d gotten there and what she was supposed to be doing.
Beau came back to the couch and squatted to kiss her on the forehead. “It’s nice waking up with you. My day can only go downhill from here.”
He stood, but Lola grabbed his arm. “Then stay with me.”
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Call me when you get up. We can get lunch.”
He let go and left the den. Lola rubbed her eyes and watched through the door as he climbed the stairs toward his bedroom. It’d been a nice moment, but it was cut short by Beau’s devotion to the only thing that had his loyalty—his work. Business. The empire he looked down upon from his office in the sky.
And then Lola remembered where she was and how she’d gotten there.